But that’s the thing… What more can go wrong? When you’ve been through the worst already, whatever’s coming next feels manageable. When you’ve cried your heart out, had the worst of them heartbreaks, blackedout to wake up in hospital beds, you’ll grow to know one thing for sure- that whatever comes next won’t break you….
Author: Namitha Bijoy
Hey, I'm Namitha and welcome to my lit-blog :)
The Hickeys I’ll Never Talk About
If I couldI would’ve tattooed flowersAround the hickeys you gave meInstead of pretending like it’s“cool, whatever”And acting like I’m actually not into you.I know you’d be the death of meAnd I seriously can’t feel my faceWhen I’m next to youBut I’m scared to give words to my butterfly feelings:What if they’ll fly away?I don’t seem…
Love Songs, Time Travels and Such…
You met me at a cringe time of my lifeBut what can I say,I like to show it as it is when I’m in love.Yet when I’m alone and you’re not in my head,It’s as if I’m sitting at my life’s ending…And it gets me to ask myself:“If I could bottle a message,And toss it…
Unrequited
In all my narratives I’m the villain.And it’s always “why did I say that”Or “why didn’t I say anything”.Nothing else.Feels like holding me accountable is all I’ve ever known.I’m an anomaly.No, really.In this world of everyone focusing on themselves,I’m the exception.When someone shows their true colours,All I still do is see the bigger picture-Them on…
Dreaming a Dream Till It’s Not Just That- A Dream
One midnight I dream a dream:I see us side by sideOn your childhood bed by the windowAnd it’s raining.You’re tired and fast asleep But you’ve still got your arm under my neck,Wrapping me closer to your chest.You mumble in your sleep and sometimesYou just unknowingly kiss my face Like how you always do When you’re…
One Last (Not a Love) Letter
You’ll probably never read it, still, I think I’ve got to write one last letter to you. My first instinct was to call it a love letter but as I’ve come to realise lately, there actually isn’t any love between us. We’re just two people, eternally confused about us. At least I think I am….
Definitely something casual, carefree and comfortable!
If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be? I’d for sure go for a baggy t-shirt and loose denim over anything, any day! There is nothing more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself- comfortable in her perfect imperfection so imma go for comfort over coolness!
Change: Not For Me But Yourself.
I wonder if you even know this blog’s name:This place where my heart’s out on display.I don’t honestly know If you ever cared for the things I care.But I do see how you’ve beenTaking me and my words for granted.You consistently tell me I’m “super”But why don’t I ever feel that way?Why must I write…
You. Randomly Calling Me?
I occasionally miss you too,But it’s just a fleeting feeling.It’s true, I call out your name on a whim.But beyond that, there’s nothing more…Just a foible of a memory. There’s no longing, no ache in my heart.I’ve got no desire for a brand new catch-up.No more “I miss you as my friend”,For our time has…
First Priority
I’ve never had anyone put me firstAs much as I put them.I know it’s not a tab-keeping game,But sometimes my heart just wants to rant. At times it wants to scream:Louder in a shrill tone that’ll scare you-Angrier than the angriest you’ve ever seen me,Reminding you why ignoring me isn’t allowed. I know that it…
Unanswered Hankering
My mind can be so cruel to myselfYet so kind to others.I would do anything to changeThe way my brain thinks. The more I learn about the world,The less I understand why I exist.This burning sensation in me never stops-I am scared this is all I’ll ever be. I don’t blame you but Sometimes I…
Love’s Labour’s Lost
Note: This is an old poem, written circa 2019, during a breakup. I never got the chance to know you.Couldn’t meet the real and complete you.So I fell in love with the idea of you. Even in my depths of despair,I honestly kept longing for a feelingOf being truly wanted by you. I kept wondering…
Pain
I don’t know what I’m afraid of:Seeing you again or not seeing you again.I remember letting you go onceWith all my sorrow and much agony.I felt peace not knowing your whereaboutsFor you were to be left in my past.But it’s been months nowAnd memories are mean little things.They bring back the days I’d rather forgetThan…
Abbattoir of Memories
Up until yesterday I thoughtThe strength to move on was a skill,That choosing freedom from the past was a talentFor memories are tougher to negotiate with.My every single step closer to healing results inFour steps backwards on my memory lane-Aloof, alone and angry are what I’ve been.It never dawned on me howWe are unreliable narrators…
2021
2021 was a rollercoaster,For my battery was at an all time low. Health scares became a common sceneYet family somehow kept me sane. Even when riches ran far from us,Wonders happened that kept me alive. Love stayed strong and loved me so good,Even when it got painfully morbid.I constantly pushed all of Love’s buttons,Expecting a…
To The Boy I Miss
I remember the day whenWe just looked into each other.You bought me a pair of boots And we spoke nothing else.We looked at each other and smiled.For we knew.We knew what we wanted to say.But our eyes had already spoken. Between the silence and our smiles,We really did try syncing our lives. There are days…
Tradition
Since the beginning, my family has had this tradition of buying clothes only on birthdays and on Onam. One reason for sticking with it was my dad’s job and his yearly transfers. Two dresses per person per year meant less luggage for every house shifting. 🤭 Now, most of my friends know my tale of…
Decampment
As strange as it seems as none feels any stranger, My muse with the hands that controlled, Has left me. He’s got too many to keep in check, Too many to rip away and too many to Burden with convoluted feelings. Though this eerie was oft foretold By many and almost everyone I knew, It…
Defunct
To be read as spoken poetry I wonder if he knows that I passed by his home today,That I saw someone or maybe two by his doorstep.I wish I could conclusively say I saw him,But it’s been years and his face is now an apparition.Days ago I did something I’m really not proud of.I pulled…
Consternation
This is unimportant butLately I’ve been so anxious-Of work, life and people.I wonder if someone reads it off my face,If I’m doing a good job hiding itBut who really notices my face? As luck kept shining a tad too muchEverything always came easy-No tolls paid or any well plunged.Being the lost wanderer who tastedJust the…
Auxesis
As a kid, I used to paint remarkably well; though it feels more like an exaggeration by the current standards, rather than a boast, in my kid standards, I certainly was something. I always felt like I inherited my artsy genes from my Mom; she had a bundle of papers with monochromatic sketches, colourful paintings…
To the one who sends letters…
A tap away, a touch away and maybe a swipe awayYet she writes letters to the ones she’s close.To people who view statuses, she’s someone who inditesBut to the ones she meekly writes,See her as a bundle of cheery alphabetsThat they never saw coming. I’ve dismissed calls and I’vePretended to be busy with all the…
Sickness
When in sickness, we see faces – faces from our past selves that were sick; faces that would’ve passed right through turbid turbulence no one could’ve comprehended. All of my faces, those faces, now add up to a single self, a person who no longer yearns for a bright future like it once did. Maybe,…
Men of my life
As I was listening to a professor’s class the other day, a series of memories happened to pass through my mind. Of course, they might not be as dreadful as you pictured it to be or maybe, you’re a strong survivor who has crossed one or various similar dreadful experiences in the past that you…
The Happy Couple Next to Us
The train stopped at Yeshwantpur. An old couple carrying two small bags entered our compartment. They were well educated and civil, spoke very gently to everyone around them. By the looks, they appeared to be visiting their relatives. Though we expected them to ask us, a bunch of loud adults, to shush and my friend…
Effacement
Let’s be oblivion to the obvious and Disregard this parallel that can meet. Our insecurity forbids What I crave. Though I did see it in your eyes some long hour, You now forbear every trace. Words appear to fail me, The right words no longer sound right. Nothing helps this mess, Reconciling my peace seems…
Stranger
Picture yourself talking to a stranger – not a regular stranger who you really don’t know but a person who you know, who in spite of being an acquaintance is still a stranger. Now imagine yourself steering a conversation with them. It’s not simple to even imagine, isn’t it? Had that person been a real…
The “L words”
“I think I like you.” “I know Zara…” “I knew you’d know…” “Where are you right now?” “At home.” “Can we just go for a ride?” “Right now?” “Can we go?” “Umm yeah but where?” “Do you have money?” “Yeah… have some bucks. Why?” “Let’s buy beer or something.” “Yeah okay but when will I…
A Midnight Curiosity
The first time the doctor told Sheila that she’s got only three more years to live if the surgery failed, she didn’t panic. She said, “Three years is a long time doctor. I wish the operation fails. After all, what can someone like me want with this life?” Her tone was so pessimistic that the…
Affection
“NAINA…!” Laxmi shouted as Naina entered. “I’m really sorry Ma. I haaad to go and…” “Where the hell were you all this while?” “Didn’t I tell you that I was planning to go shopping today with Payal?” “Oye-hoye what to do of this girl! She keeps on sneaking out of the house and then comes…
Single
“Why him?” “I don’t know. He didn’t feel right but seemed like he was the one person I was longing for.” “What was he like? If you’re still under his spell, then he might have really been someone…” “He loves the idea of being in love, but also worries that he’ll never find the kind…
Conformable
There are some people whom you would’ve known for quite some years now, who used to be above an acquaintance, whom you previously used to classify as just-friends. These people, particularly this one person, would’ve never really interacted, talked or spent time with you, not at all in the depth you wished or wanted. You…
Disorder
From strangers to lovers to strangers again, they saw the fine line that defined everything; love, sorrow and what not. Ask them what went wrong, why they drifted apart, both of them, will stand blank though they know the answer. I often used to look up to them and now, all I do is stare…
Stars, dreams and people
Some people are like dreams and some dreams are like stars. They appear when it’s dark and lonely and remove that mundanity from your life. They shine so bright that you can’t sleep a single night without contemplating their beauty. They enchant your life so much that your broken heart eventually decides to piece itself…
Feminine
I am that twisted person you dislike, That enchanted soul you fell for. Bearer of an underrated corporal, Beauty doesn’t make much gleam. My stare is powerful for the reasons I look, Yet delicate to hearts that render love. My acrimonious speech undoubtedly slices you Whilst being ardent to a few. Every strong portrait once…
Unusual
“Say something.” “Say what?” “Something, anything and everything.” My friends and I were chilling out in our compartment after having our breakfast. As the train stopped at some station, a family of four entered and sat near our seat. I don’t know what urged me to turn and look at the family but as soon…
Ambitions
A poem I wrote when I was in my 7th grade 🙈 Parents are our visible gods Who created us and our initial dreams! They were the ones Who named us and our future.. Some told their children will become doctors While some believed engineering will do! Some wanted us to touch success While some…
Tomorrow
“Dhruv, how are you feeling?” “I am feeling great Doctor! I guess I am doing pretty well for a third stage cancer patient..” he laughs. “I… don’t know what to say..” Doctor had tears in her eyes. “Doctor, will you answer something honestly to me?” “Yes. Go on..” “Will you miss me when I’m gone?”…
Future’s knock
Shattered I once stood staring the dark Disappointment often hung round my neck Capoverso of my life itself was mistake Trouble was born with me and it often Accompanied as something I never could resent.. Perhaps burden was the label that others gave me! Back then the road ahead seemed so blur With insecure thoughts…
Akshitha’s Candy
“Sir try Akshitha’s Candy. It’s sugar free and..” “Sugar free candy? Haha! Who are you trying to fool?” “Pardon me Sir but sugar free doesn’t mean that it isn’t sweet. It means that the sugar used will not bother any diabetic patient. Try one Sir..” “Just go!” “Sir, Sir… Can I get a glass of…
Dream
I too have a dream Arising from my conflicting mind Out of all the conscience I possess, It stands bright and vivid… I do not know what nourishes it As I haven’t added a pinch of manure! A positive vibe surrounds me When thoughts about it surface my brain Stranger I feel as days pass…
Assurance
She woke up from her sleep. She rubbed her teary eyes and glanced at her phone. The time was around 12 am. He still was her phone’s wallpaper Her heart questioned herself furiously and she became numb. She stood still staring at the washroom mirror. Tears rolled down all the way, wetting her pimple covered…
Saharsh and Aditi
“You should wait till I get all the stuff. Okay?” “Where’s your Iphone Ma?” We were at the supermarket. Saharsh stood near me and continued playing with my brand new phone. A sweet little girl, about Saharsh’s age, came running towards us. She asked me to help her pick the Chocos pack from the top…
Confidence
If you think you can, then you can If you think you can’t, better not dare… It’s within you that makes you feel And judge yourself above or below those Who have what you once had More than anyone in this whole wide world… If you like to win but aren’t winning For you think…
The Preserved Nixie 